My husband told me today,"you are blowing this way out of proportion." Hmm, not wise words to say to an overprotective mama bear. I asked him why did he think that. He said, "We have talked about this for at least two times in the past two days!" Really?! At first, my feelings were really hurt. He is the one I am supposed to pour my heart out to when troubled. He is my safe place to fall. He is my best friend. And, here he is, telling me to get over something that I cannot.
Then, I realized it was not that I could not get over it, I was choosing not to get over it at that point in time. So what if things are not going the way I think they should? Will it matter in 5 years? I just want to understand. That is what I do, I analyze the problem, break it down, and fix it. Only this time, I can't fix it. I can only pray.
I can turn off the tape in my mind that replays the situation over and over. I can turn to prayer instead of voicing my concerns over and over. I can just let it go. My friend relates it to holding a balloon and dragging it with you everywhere you go. One day, she let hers go and was at once peaceful. So, maybe, I will just let it go and watch it float high in the sky out of sight.
This business of life is hard. My pastor wrote in his pastoral letter this week about being quiet in order to listen. It's time for me to be quiet!
Susan
