Sunday, May 17, 2009

Missing my brother

This is a picture of my Daddy and one of my older brothers, Clyde. Today is/would have been Clyde's birthday. He would have been 59. Did I mention that he was a lot older than me?! I have lost both parents and 2 brothers. In many ways, losing a sibling is harder than a parent. I miss my parents daily. But, I think we are programmed to know that our parents will die before us. I was not prepared for Clyde's death. It was very sudden. I was fortunate to get to the hospital before he died but he remained unconscious. It did allow me a chance to tell him that I loved him and it was OK to die if that is what he needed to do. I miss him so much this time of year. He loved to garden and be outside. I wish my boys could have known their Uncle Clyde. He would have loved to spoil them. It's a hard day today for me. I could get very weepy if I allowed myself to do that.

My boys have a birthday party to attend this afternoon. I will take them and we will have good time because that is what parents are supposed to do? Right? NO feeling sorry for myself. I will save that for tonight when I go to bed.

5 comments:

  1. It is a bad day for me too.. On Friday my 30 year old Nephew commited suicide and he didn't leave a note so we don't know why. He and his fiancee were happily planning a wedding for October and this being the May long weekend they had planned for her family to come to meet Ted's family. So we are all thinking he got a call from his doctor and it was bad news. He had been having a problem with too much iron in the blood and had to have a pint removed monthly. He had told me he hated that.. so I'm thinking he found out he had to do it more often and just couldn't face that the rest of his life.. We may never know.
    So I join you in your sadness.

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  2. I'm sorry about your brother... your story reminded me of when my first husband passed. We were divorced by then but we had 4 children together. We got to the hospital after he was unconscious, but we were still able to say our goodbyes. Spring is hard for me, since that is when we married and he, also, loved to garden and work outside... I keep reminding myself and the kids that we'll see him again someday, but right now it really hurts.

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  3. {{{Susan}}} This is a season of remembering those we've lost for my family also. Last Tuesday was the 12th anniversary of my mother's passing, and the first week of June will be five years for my dad, and 34 years for my brother. We just have to remember the good times and keep telling their stories so the next generation will know them through us.

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  4. Thank you all for your lovely comments on my brother's birthday. It is comforting to know that others know how I feel.

    Louise - I am really sorry to read about your nephew. That is so sad.

    Hugs,
    Susan

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St. Therese

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love. Ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore, and tell Him I will love Him each day, more and more.